Candidate for a Pullet Surprise

Spell checking is a wonderful thing, but it offers no guarantees other than that the words you've used are spelled correctly. If you've used the wrong words, however, you might be in trouble, as this wonderful poem from 1992 by Jerrold H. Zar illustrates so well.

Jerrold was kind enough to grant us permission to reprint this, and if you like this we urge you to check out the fantastic Journal of Irreproducible Results, where this was published first in 1994 and again in 2000.


CANDIDATE FOR A PULLET SURPRISE

By Jerrold H. Zar

 

I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea. 

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew. 

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when eye rime. 

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours or every word
Too cheque sum spelling rule. 

Bee fore a veiling checker's
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine. 

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.

Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.

Too rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.


By Jerrold H. Zar. Original published source: The Journal of Irreproducible Results, the science humor magazine, www.jir.com, 1994 and 2000.

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Dave Child

Dave is the founder of Readable.io, and has been building websites since the early 90s. He's one of those fortunate people who gets to do what he loves for a living.

       


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